Monthly Archives: December 2016

Viking Mind Games: Cardboard Cutout of Adrian Peterson to Play in Sundays Game against The Colts

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After a week of sexy salacious discussion as to if Vikings’ star running back, and interim Vikings’ sideline hype manager, Adrain Peterson, will play in Sundays game, there comes an unexpected answer.  Today, the answer has come from an unofficial Vikings’ spokesperson verifying that an actual cardboard cutout of Adrian Peterson will indeed play in Sundays game as a decoy, and not the real person Adrian Peterson.

This unusual strategy comes as no surprise at all to a team that must, and will do anything to win and ascend to the Superbowl spectacle in January. “[You] see, the more we talk about him (Adrain Peterson) playing, or not playing, in Sunday’s game, the more it throws off the other team’s game plan off,” said the unofficial Vikings’ spokesperson and anonymous source, “it only makes sense that the Vikings would resort to such a tactic so late in the season [having not had superstars Peterson or Bridgewater.].

Naturally, this sort of move is not the first time we have seen a secretive ploy get the Vikings ahead in their league, for instance, in the first few weeks of the season a similar situation happened with highly anticipated Teddy Bridgewater; with a head coach switch-a-roo (which is still being carried out today), emergency eye surgery that no one saw coming, and with a kicker’s identity change mid-season, Walsh is still known by a new moniker, Forbath.  Ok Chris Gaines, we know you are Garth Brooks.  Needless to say, The Bridgewater Bluff fooled even the best of NFL insiders, obviously, and it also paid dividends to the Vikings’ scoreboard.  But the scheme could not last long, the wins started to stop.

And to summarize, that is why the cardboard cutout of Peterson is absolute genius for throwing an opposing team off their game and giving The Minnesota Vikings the edge they need to come out ahead; however, this strategy may only work for one game, as the other team may catch on to the cardboard cutout Peterson rouse somewhat easily.  Yet, like politics if you keep talking about it as if it so, then of course it is so for many–especially the other team.  So, be ready fantasy football people, AP’s four points may just turn to zero, or a million points for the Purple and Gold, as one cannot draft a cardboard cutout.  However it remains to be seen if another Viking’s mind game will bring another solid “W” with the idea of a paper tiger, or if they will just get pulped and recycled.

Online Petitions (as Pennies in a Wishing Well)

“Everything that is beautiful and noble is a product of reason and calculation.” -Charles Baudelaire

St Paul, MN- In my opinion, petitioning everything we find disagreeable on the internet, that takes place in the United States of America, is like posting a new status on Facebook, or any other social media platform, it becomes useless.  To me, this action does very little, because those forums are monitored and controlled, like throwing a penny into a wishing well–it takes the intention out of the actor’s perception, it takes the accountability out of the petitioner’s (wisher’s) hands and puts the issue in a free fall of liquidity, placing the issue on something larger and misunderstood.  I guess I miss the reason, intention, and calculation of speaking to deaf ears.

Petitioning so visibly against matters on social media creates the same sort of sentiment that one sees when one throws a penny into a wishing well. The shiny object, the cent, goes away from our observation and into certain darkness.  The viewer of this spectacle finds that the actor in this setting has hope, has promise, has a wish with meaning. The penny falls and that is that. There is that nugget of hope left at the bottom of a wishing well. Accordingly, the petition is sent out, put forth, and left on the interwebs away from those with the ability to make change, and there it sits.  (I will attest that these petitions seem a spectacle for the mainstream media to make pennies off of as well, generating a story, while stoking a teasing interest.)

In relation to this metaphor, I aver we do something different for change, instead of a spectacle for others, we create a spectacle for ourselves.  Instead of casting a penny away, as an idea, or as a concern for a concept by writing or signing a petition, that may or may not get seen by eyes with authority and the ability to create change, one must, perhaps, write legislature, or run for office themselves; make the change they desire by becoming this change. Create the change you want by following your wishes or petitions to the top, to the office you aspire to. So often ideas become clouded by group-think and the initial principal becomes diluted, creating very little change.  With an individual seeing this principal through to fruition, those outside forces may be hampered.

The real matter at hand with petitions and pennies, perhaps, may be the level of accountability the person doing the signing, or throwing, or writing cares to do and be responsible for. We sign things all the time, this act is commonplace autonomous. I sign for coffee, I sign for sandwiches, I sign for others, I sign for packages, and I sign for beer. You do too!  How is this any different in a serious way, signing for something that is entirely important or unimportant to me? (Is changing the system important to you?  And how important?)  I find in order for change it must be a step above that kind of signing, a bit more convoluted, this giving up autonomy and comfort for belief.

Signing a petition on the internet for something you believe wholeheartedly may feel good.  You may feel you have done your part, but what part? Does this signing lack fervor though?  And how much will that well-meant signature do? To make change there must be the same amount of initiative or action or motivation as in the thought that caused it. Putting a status update on social media takes a few clicks, signing your signature is a swipe of the wrist–conditioning at this point–perhaps, neither of these actions are revolutionary (singularly alone). With them, there is only a wish and an idea thrown away, as the penny in the wishing well.  So how important is your status update or your signature for petitioning change in comparison to every other one placed in a universe of texts and signatures?

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On the video at the top of this essay, and the “Faithless Elector” movement (I didn’t watch it, the thumbnail was nice.  So I used it.) Further, we knew about the electoral college and how it worked many years ago, perhaps it is as old as the American republic.  I will cite, as John C. Dvorak of the No Agenda Podcast pointed out, where some of the inspiration for my piece comes, and I paraphrase–I hope I do justice, change the system, change the law!  Again, I paraphrase, but the gist is there.  Change the way we do things, the system, and change the law.  Hear more from him at No Agenda Podcast.  And if you perceive me wrong, I guess I am witnessing the forest for the trees, I am missing their timber.  Change may take more effort than an online trend, spectacle, or people holding well-made signs.