Monthly Archives: March 2017

UPDATE: Real ID passes in Minnesota, to go to an immediate recount over outcry from career demonstrators concerned for real IDs of Fantalogists

REAL_ID_Q_A_37898501

A security guard checking a questionable passport of some guy in a leather jacket at an airport somewhere. Photo by Nam Y. Huh, Associated Press

“The Minnesota Senate passed a bill late Thursday to bring the state into compliance with the federal Real ID law as a January 2018 deadline nears”, and moments later, predictably, thousands of career demonstrators gathered outside to protest the passing of the Real ID bill to protect the rights of a small group of Fantalogists living in fantasy world.

Under the new law real fake people, Fantalogists–those religiously living in imaginary fantasy world, would be required by law to change their real fake status–or change their fantasy status, to real person or real citizen.  This change would go against their fantastical real-fake principles said a completely reliable source and in-house resident of fantasy world.

What this new law does actually is cause people who do want to live in fantasy world much stress, it forces them to come into reality and get a card that states that… one anonymous impassioned and disruptive protester explained without listening.  This basically goes against everything we know, you can look at the facts, this literally goes against the religious rights of real fake people, therefore our First Amendment rights–this is a constitutional issue!!!

After the twilight outcry, the Minnesota Senate quickly regrouped with coffee and donuts and started to commence discussion of a recount of sorts.  Those inside agreed that bending to the whims of the outcry would benefit the Fantalogist community, and in turn, help the Senators secure their reelection bids in the future.  Unnamed sources close to the MN Senate would not confirm or disconfirm when or if this recount would happen.

Advertisements

BREAKING: Flynn tells all, admits that fake news told him that fake news is fake news, the internet turns to complete bedlam after not reading the article in its entirety

_95401498_037887586_reut

Michael Flynn just after learning fake news is fake news, told by fake news.

Today, in a revelation that shocked absolutely no one at all, Michael Flynn was told by fake news sources that fake news sources were actually fake news sources, paid by people of interest to report on specific topics, offering no further comment other than “don’t tell anyone, Michael Flynn…” extremely reliable sources say.

This fake news comes as no surprise to people with eyes and a brain that functions properly, especially when there are more witch hunts today than there was in The Crucible, and while there are more red scares now than there were in the 1960s.  Although it does give a point of reference to anyone making a point that will be “fact-check”ed as false without proof in light conversation.

Moreover, in a shocking twist, no one cared about this admittance and critics focused all of their attention on Michael Flynn himself, expressing that he was fake news, or a liar, or he was biased because he wasn’t a Clinton supporter like them. The world went on blathering about what it thought was right and wrong, and how the grass is blue and the sky is green. All parties will continue to loathe one another and fake news will run rampant.

 

Minnesota politician tries new material at Gorsuch confirmation hearing, mistaken for slam poetry open mic

This week a Minnesota politician mistakenly thought the Gorusch confirmation hearing was a slam poetry open mic, the style found at most beat coffee houses and in modern literature press events.  Accordingly the critics in earshot found the new material lackluster, overdone, and out of context.

Unfortunately, the new material Franken had was dry, hyperbolic, one-sided, and as expected, negative, certainly when speaking to Gorusch in thinly veiled exaggerations, said one anonymous official.  A member of the audience expressed that they didn’t know whether to laugh or show sympathy for the long-time poet.

Nonetheless, throughout the week news media outlets have covered how unbelievably interesting and important the Gorusch confirmation hearing is; no one thought that anyone would have any issues with Trump’s pick, it’s a real shocker–headline material.  So these apropos readings of banal poetry broke the tension and left many confused.