ST PAUL, MN — In lieu of the record snowfall in St Paul, dog piss is visible on every sidewalk throughout the city. In an effort to clamp down on unsightly dig piss, and to accommodate the Green New Deal, the capital city council may vote on a new ordinance requiring dog owners to also pick up their dog piss, along with dog feces.
For many years, dog piss has been a possible leading contributor to global warming and polluted waters which kill native wildlife, anonymous sources say, not only will this new green ordinance make St Paul look better but it will save the earth and environment too. If we all do our duty, we can save our beautiful planet for our future and our kids.
Posted in america, Life, news, Politics, satire, society, USA
Tagged #doglovers, #greennewdeal, #stpaul, America, City, climate change, dog pee, doglife, Dogs, Fake News, global warming, government, green new deal, Millennials, Minnesota, MN, ordinance, per owners, Satire, St. Paul, USA
DENVER, CO — This week, The 40-Year-Old Virgin Series helped the rose market blossom. High demand and higher tensions, related to Colton, have seen a higher demand for rose around the globe.
Posted in america, Life, media, news
Tagged abc, America, bachelor, Comedy, flowers, humor, Love, romance, roses, Satire, the bachelor
Valentine’s Day, signaled unstable Job markets for horses, as St Paul ended horse patrols indefinitely. Saddled with high taxes and higher co2 emmissions from equestrians, the patrol officially ended. Long faces were seen everywhere as this patrol galloped into the sunset.
Posted in america, Fake News, news, satire, USA
Tagged climate change, Comedy, Economy, global warming, horses, job market, Jobs, Minnesota, MN, News, news media, patrol, Police, Recession, Saint Paul, Satire, St. Paul, Trump, USA, Valentine's day