Maybe my ideas suck just as bad as the next person, no matter how hard I try to make them heard or make them law. And here, I attempt to control my life in all decisions, I wake up and wonder how in control I am about my ideas. Control over other people’s ideas. Have I tried to control too much? Too many fingers in too many idea pies? A thought I like to reflect on, old and played-out by now: when you focus on everything you focus on nothing. By making my ideas center stage have I taken the light away from other people’s ideas? I am not sure, but I recall this idea of control: When you attempt to control others you lose control of yourself. I wake up from a dream where I am visiting a counselor, she says that same thing, like a past life, as if it’s true. I know it now. Oddly, I concede and take it all back because I know dreams can be right. I know because they have been. Who is in control of my ideas, what ways can they show it through listening and relating under control?
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Tagged 1983, Art, Derrida, free play, Freud, Ghost Dance, History, Ideology, improvisation, Kafka, Ken McMullen, Language, Other, Post-Structuralism, pov, Scene, shot, Subject, think, Thought