Category Archives: Politics

Aaron Rodgers potentially Traded to State Farm off of Injured Reserve, New Revealing Video Evidence Suggests

After being put on injured reserve (IR) last season, Aaron Rodgers tenure with the Packers was put in limbo. Now, after appearing in numerous State Farm commercials Rodgers’ fate with the Green Bay Packers is rumored to be incredibly uncertain at best and at worst not impacted at all.

This potential bombshell of an assumption will come as a shock and surprise to die-hard Cheeseheads across some very small portions of the country. This fake news is downright unbelievable, unaccountable, and lacking any credibility whatsoever. This article is pure satire, but no one will read this far into it because: modern times/no one reads.

Rodgers was contacted in the future for a prophetic statement but could not answer because he was not actually contacted in the future for a statement because this article is only satire, and every just assumes the headlines are “facts”.

Amid swirling rumors and speculation and video evidence, in the form of a State Farm commercial, Rodgers solidified his trade to State Farm potentially–possibly signalling that he will be leaving for another team, or maybe he won’t.  But there is video proof in the form of a video to prove this narrative.

The Green Bay Packers will never be the same successful team they once were because their team relies so heavily on one player. It will be truly sad to see him go to State Farm to film another commercial for the football season, but if you are good at something, or one thing, you have to stick to it.

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BREAKING NEWS: No Study Ever finds that your Life is Fated by Pennies, People, and Problems

This week has changed my life. Events unfolded and I became apart of the solution. This fix took up a week, and a majority of my time allotted for other projects. But the things I did learn through experience taught me one thing– oh, and finding pennies and Easter Eggs throughout let me know that I was where I was supposed to be, like everyone else is–it taught me to take it as it comes. Be where I am when I am right here right now.

Firstly, events take place, happen, go down, and unfold beyond our humanly control. (I read a tweet about this: worry is a waste of time, the past is the past, we cannot worry about things we cannot change, etc.) I understand I cannot change the past I can only change the future, hopefully. In this new “special project” I have found that positivity is the only way to move forward together. We must move onward positively together. Getting down or bummed or saddened about something will only hamper your forward progress.

Secondly, everywhere I went this week I was met with a smile–or by the end of the meeting, a smile had fixed a frown or a grimace, at least in most cases. Furthermore, I kept finding pennies placed throughout my experiences. I got lost, found a penny. Someone needed me to do an alternative task, I found a penny. At the train station, found a penny. In this, I don’t believe pennies are lucky. But if I find a lot of pennies, a lot of pennies add up. Or maybe god is buying me a beer, I have no way to knowing. Also, these finds act like checkpoints for my life. Look for your pennies and you will see dollars. Then retrace your steps along that path, how did you come by three cents?! WOW! 🙂

The most important part to all of this is the worry factor. I read this last night, for a moment. The last few days, I saw people worried, upset, and frustrated. I stayed calm. I have no idea how. I just stayed calm and collected. Because it is how we act during times of uncertainty that matter most. (Someone famous said that, or something similar). Beyond the stress, the unpredictability, I was learning something unique, something new. Something different. It didn’t matter what; but if you are doing something different from your regular routine, you are learning something new. Remember that in a shitty situation that you have never had to deal with before.

Some people could say their week was a wash, many others could call it a major success. And the point here is, this is every week, could be every moment. They did something. They made something happen. The reason this contrast is important is because we can see life in this way every day, or in another way. One day it is shit. One day it is good. Four letters, two different ideas completely. Why can’t they all be good? Why can’t we make it as such? And I think we can. Thought I would share.

You have made it here, right where are you are supposed to be. Now go look for your pennies.

THIS JUST IN: The News May Be Bringing You Down

I have heard it many times before: you get what you give, and surround yourself with what you want to become. So, then I think about American politics, American media, and I think I don’t want to be surrounded with that. And then I don’t surround myself with that, not even for a moment. For weeks I feel better.  Like getting over a sickness, like overcoming my problem.

A month or so ago, I could not go without viewing or reading the news in the morning to start my day. This had been routine.  I thought about The Art of the Deal, by Donald Trump. He stated in the beginning he would read the paper every day to see what was going on, to see where his day would take him. I wanted to be like this, not because I loved the guy, but because I wanted to know where I was.  Somehow I got to the bottom.

After killing my Facebook and realizing I didn’t really need to be told where I was by something fake, I used the news as a way of gauging my day, of coming to terms with my reality. But what reality? These papers and pages, full of advertisements, had an agenda, something beyond their words. I learned that a story was only a story if it proved positive for the advertisers, which means most likely scandalous, negative, or fearful for readers.  I didn’t need it. This negative. Why feel bad for reading?

Here I sit now, understanding where I stand. and where I stood.  I don’t need talking heads to tell me how I feel. I don’t need them to say something is wrong or horrible or bad. I don’t need someone to tell me I need change in my life. I guess, if I can’t see it why that is, do I deserve to change? And what is my purpose if someone getting paid to talk to me about the the “news” can decide better at fixing my life than I can?

It’s very sad, very sad.  Everyone plugged in always, asking “did you see” this or that “on Facebook”? No, I am not there, I am right here. Something someone did through skewed eyes making money.  I heard it was bad though. INCREDIBLE! I can’t believe it! The president did this deplorable thing as seen by the interpretation of an entity that hates him.  NO WAY! This politician is doing this, I CARE! You should care too…  The world is ending, ERMERGERD!!!  

The echo chamber becomes too much. Then you fill it with negative and your life becomes more negative. You see the trade off?  I read the news one day and didn’t want to leave my house. I wanted to avoid life because a story told me to be sad, worried, depressed, and afraid. I felt terrorized. No wonder the anti-depressant ads in the commercial breaks.  Days later, I put down the news. I realized if I had not read it, I would not have been mentally unable to be positive.

I guess now, I wonder who reads the news and who doesn’t. Are they OK?  Who believes it and who doesn’t. Can we scientific method it?  Any why would they would want to add something negative to their generally awesome and positive life? There is no news like bad news they say. It doesn’t bother me if I don’t waste my time reading it. That is the breaking news you should strive for: what is the weather, can I pay my bills, medical, daycare, and is my family happy to be around me… This just in, it happens without the negative.

Turn off, tune out: how the media creates the problems their pharmaceutical commercials claim they can cure, just ask your doctor


I had’t thought about it much until my phone broke. Bullshit black-screen of death… I had no phone, I had nothing… Or so I thought, well, most would think this. I might have been wrong. It was great. And getting my phone back a week or so ago makes me want that no-phone situation back again.

The reason for that is the news, the constant reaching in my pocket to find my screen. Inevitably, now, I will be on my phone, pull something up, google search something and see hatred disguised as necessary, as justice. I will scan a newspaper website and I will find something like hate-ads that ask me to find these people and hate them too, ironically for hating.

The concept of turn off, tune out–or whatever catchphrase it was is nothing new. (I am sure I want to get away like everyone else. They could actually fake me in videos now.) In fact, it’s probably very old. It doesn’t matter. But try it. Shut the phone off. Just the phone. Watch a movie and take a walk. Maybe shut the television off too.

We could scroll Facebook, Reddit, Twitter, Instagram for hours but we still find ourselves in the same place: sitting between up and down, looking for what’s next, constantly moving towards the end–if that is even possible. I don’t know. I think of how stupid it must feel to craft a post that would appease everyone that is in my friend group and those who are in my friend group who I don’t give a shit about… I wonder… Does this jive with my ideology? Or is it fake?

And the conclusion hit me today. I walked into a dark office in the afternoon and ran into someone who couldn’t believe the world news and how everything was internal struggle and meltdown, go figure. It was too much. The whole world was ending certainly.

Ah… but not here I thought. The world in this quiet dark office was very pleasant, nothing to bother anyone. Even the lights weren’t offensive and people weren’t playing music outside. It was fine. I told my friend I laughed at the nightly news; every new day was a new catastrophic drama-fest meltdown stoked by advertisements and distractionism. Something unreal.

And I calmed. Maybe I should add turn off the local news to the list. They are sponsored by something as well. There are hosts that will never get fired because of what they say they are, honest. There are stories that will never get covered because of what others say they are, different. And we can agree. Still, there is that button you can touch. Turn it off and take a much needed breath of air and just think for once.

Protesters shut down Minneapolis Mayor Betsy Hodges’ press conference, demanding new leadership now, continued unrest

In an odd turn of events, the protesters attempted to oust Minneapolis mayor Betsy Hodges calling for her and her entire staff to resign.

This action come in lieu of the recent tragic shooting of Justine Damond, chief of police Harteau was asked to resign yesterday in relation to this event.

At the press conference, a group of protesters from a Justine rally appear to take over the meeting and demand that Hodges also resign.

Hodges made no remarks to signify if she were or were not to resign, simply leaving the conference abruptly.

BREAKING: Russian operatives hack Easter Sunday, little sister wins Easter egg hunt two years in a row

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A bunch of Easter eggs scattered on the ground, an American tradition Photo: Megan Spicer

In what has turned into worldwide contention, anonymous sources have confirmed for America mainstream news organizations that Russian operatives have officially hacked the results of the 2017 La Crescent, Minnesota family Easter egg hunt, siding the last born child.

The youngest of four siblings won a second year in a row, prompting an immediate recount, massive protests around the nation, and cries that she turn over the highly-demanded $20 from the golden egg–which this years was secretly hidden in a red plastic egg, by Russian operatives, rather than in the shining golden egg.

There has been no confirmation or dis-confirmation of these damning allegations by Russian sources, merely they responded by not responding because no questions were asked, per usual–which means theses assertions hold clout, obviously.  There is no legal reason why the youngest sibling should win 2 years in a row, the outcome is suspect.

April the giraffe gives birth to computer generated baby giraffe in staged event on Facebook, anonymous sources admit

About 9:50 a.m. ET, April the giraffe, whose privacy rights violation pregnancy captivated thousands, gave birth to a computer generated baby calf at Animal Adventure Park in Harpursville, N.Y.  Five minutes later, it was announced to deaf eared masses that the event was in fact staged.

The computer generated baby calf squirted out and splayed on the ground before standing up and disappearing into a green screen, its mother nuzzling the newborn CGI calf exactly as the director had directed, yelling cut. At the time of the birth, about 1.2 million people watched live on YouTube and nearly 750K watched from the zoo’s Facebook page.

The advertising revenues earned from this elaborately staged event was nothing short of a European diamond heist, and those watching will be none the wiser if it is real or not real. People are more concerned with the happy thoughts of seeing a baby giraffe born in real-time on Facebook, when contrasted with fear and war and division.

This distraction is wonderful fodder and gives people a warm fuzzy feeling, making them unwilling to question the time spent watching this “real” event, when actually it was staged in such a fashion that no one could see the truth, only advertisers.

We had to come out and say it, an anonymous highly-regarded spokesperson said, we felt bad about hosing people about this event since February… We thought it was going to be a bit more obvious considering the perfect timing of the birth, Saturday, in the morning, while people are checking their phones… But is seems no one got it.