Category Archives: satire

Share track: Minnesotans Not being Taxed Enough? AFSCME will take care of that…

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Share track: The Art Of The Hat

Noah’s Ark Proves Climate Change is Real and We Should Learn from that Experience

Noah’s Ark is a very well-documented historical event in which water covered the earth, brought on by extreme climate change. And it possible killed off all the dinosaurs. We are seeing the prelude to another biblical climate event that will happen in the near future, we must learn from that experience.

As when Noah built his Ark, weather in our time is becoming more and more extreme every day. It’s a fact, from the Bible, that rain caused the waters of the earth to rise considerably, covering our planet. Today, rain caused by extreme climate has caused numerous floods throughout the globe.

Similarly today, scientists, like God did over a millennium ago, have stated that global warming and climate change will cause the oceans of the world to rise. In Noah’s time, waters rose, killing all those humans and animals not on the Ark–which explains why there wasn’t room for dinosaurs. Coincidence? Highly unlikely.

Another revelation that we see in both cases is climate change deniers. Noah faced many people who called him crazy for his beliefs about climate change and God, saying climate change wasn’t real. Wrong. Today, there are people who just don’t believe in climate change, and that’s a fact, they need to learn.

Now that we know the real facts about our impending doom on earth, we can learn from the Bible. It’s time to combat climate change by doing as Noah did: build an ark–or if that is not physically possible, at least buy enough inflatable rafts to save the human and animal populations.

Now is the time to act on climate change, use less. Time is running out. The waters of the world are rising, weather is getting worse. There is no time to think, there is only to act to save the planet and ourselves. Here are some rafts at a discount: raft. Do your part.

WikiLeaks founder leaves Embassy for Minnesota Trout Opener, He just couldn’t Wait

London, Spain–Wikileaks founder Jeffrey Sausage couldn’t wait another moment, he had to go to the Minnesota Trout Opener. Nothing could stop him.

Jeffrey loves running WikiLeaks and hanging out in embassies for six years straight, but what he loves even more is trout fishing in Minnesota.

With blue skies and perfect weather, Minnesota is the best place on earth, and the best place on earth for the best fishing on earth.

Jeffrey was seen bursting out onto the streets of London, Spain with a sparkling zeal, with his security detail in tow to make the next flight.

Good luck Mr. Sausage, may you catch your limit.

Infinity Inches possibly Forecasted likely to fall in Minnesota, potentially

FROGTOWN USA–There is no sugarcoating this one, Minnesota may possibly, potentially get infinity inches of snow in the next few days, way more than 6 to 12 inches as previously forecasted.

Snowstorm Ice Dragon is plowing through the middle of the nation on a disaster course, one way worse than last April’s Snowmaggedon. Way worse.

Winter is coming again. The path of the storm is pinpointed in the graphic of Minnesota below, marked in red is where infinity inches is slated to fall.

Just when we thought winter was finally over, it’s back and it doesn’t care about our feelings.

Trump May be Saving Thousands of Dollars a Year HUGELY by Living in Florida

AMERICA, USA–In an obvious revelation, after five minutes of Google research, which no news media has covered, I may have discovered why Trump spends much of his time in Florida, at Mar-a-Lago: tax incentives.

Florida is where I want to live when I retire, logically, after stumbling upon the state’s six-plus-one formula, because there is no way I will be able to afford Minnesota’s progressive fifth highest tax burden in the nation.

Nerdwallet explains:

Florida is a tax haven, get woke.

Any person that wants to be taxed less on things such as everyday life, income, retirement income and property, should check out Florida.

The Sunshine State’s tax incentives may be saving President Trump thousands, if not tens of thousands of dollars a year, ermergerd.

The secret is out about Florida, now, and no one is talking about it… No one that is, but me, right here. If you find value in this idea, theory writing, make a donation. Thanks 😊

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TS_

Millennial Money: Turning in Our Leased Subaru Early Saves Us at Least $5,000 a Year

ST PAUL, MN–Yesterday, we saved our family $5,000 a year. We took our leased Impreza Sport in early and will now drive a minivan we bought with cash, per Dave Ramsey’s influence in The Total Money Makeover.

Our situation–saving us nearly $500 a month–is not average, nor is it normal by any means: 1/3 of all new cars are leased per average on 2018 consumer reports; nearly half of American adults rely on auto loans to pay for their vehicles: NOT OWNED.

We own our minivan outright, that’s unusual in a world where living on credit is standard. And by owning with no payments we save, BIG TIME. Also, by owning, within our means, we get out of debt sooner.

No more $343.17 a month to Chase for the Subaru we NEVER owned. No more $135 a month for insurance, high-end comprehensive, required by the lease agreement. On the minivan our first payment was the last!

We stopped paying for Subaru and Chase’s beach house, we are going to buy our own eventually, and sooner now.

I share our story because you too can do anything with a plan, action and a goal. Time to buy with cash, stop living beyond our means on credit. Patience and persistence to long-term success, good luck.

***

Please consider a donation of any amount, as many already have.

None of the profits made off of advertisements on my blog go to me, the curator, creator, writer.

If you can’t get to my Paypal page because it’s busy, keep trying.

https://www.paypal.me/TSNiebeling

Happy Reading,
TS_