Time Machines Exist, and They are Outlawed by Mankind

There is a way to travel back in time already, I figured it out in deep thought yesterday. (It’s been outlawed by mankind though.) A person would simply need two massive space drones, some poles, and a camera. Basically, just attach the drones to the axis of the earth, halt it from spinning, then set to work spinning it backwards. Simple, easy. I think we already all know this.

The problem with this idea is that time is relative. It’s not that it doesn’t work–that we couldn’t go back in time, but it would be nearly impossible to set it straight to a direct time. Imagine setting an analog watch, no watch is exactly on time. Greenwich isn’t ever on time. Time is relative. SO how fast or slow we spin and where we end up is a gamble.

This time machine idea would impact the entire world, as it would alter the entire world. No one is ready for that change. We can’t even agree on politics. Stopping the world for someone in the prime of their life to go back to your prime would ultimately not be a good deal for the former. There is too much riding on it. End of discussion. Call it insane, impossible.

It’s already been done though, we have gone back in time. We have interpreted and created our dead ones again: look at museums. We are there. The technology is there. Two drones, some poles and a camera. Stop the world and spin it backwards. That is how we create what a time machine would create. How we change time. The camera is how we know what the past looks like. Don’t agree? Prove me wrong.


A Vikings’ Win when it counts turns Minnesotans into Captain Ahab, hunting his Moby Dick for all Eternity

“This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.” -T.S. Eliot

Last night, after the Minnesota Vikings got DESTROYED by the Philadelphia Eagles, I was flipping through channels on my rabbit ears and found the Gregory Peck film version of the classic American novel Moby-Dick. I found this story to be an apropos metaphor for all die-hard Vikings’ fans at the moment, and for eternity. We are all perpetually Captain Ahab looking for the majestic white whale (a Vikings’ Win when it counts), becoming dangerously obsessed, eventual that idea becomes our mental and physical downfall, to the point of mortal apathy. The game last night ended like the Pequod and it’s ill-fated crew: figuratively eviscerated in a vast ocean of literal Eagles fans and defeatist nostalgia. We, us Ahabs, may never get our Moby Dick–that one win to take our Purple Pride to the Superbowl, especially in our hometown (fuck). Ah, but we will all yell at our TVs, clench our fists, ask the whys and hows, and hope every season, as we scream, THAR SHE BLOWS! that this year will be the one in which we the Vikings will win!

I washed my car yesterday in 40 degree Minnesota cold and then I ate some Ramen Noodles, it cost me nothing and saved me a lot more


Even notice how a boat with a few holes in it sinks over time and it becomes more worrisome the farther you are from land? I do. Now place this image of a boat sinking on your financial situation. You lose a dollar here, ten over there, $2.50 on that one thing; the boat is your bank account. That boat is sinking slowly and you are out to see, sharks, such as creditors, banks, and lenders are following in the murky deep. We almost sank again, but this time I told my wife instead of paying for a car wash I would do it myself. Watch.

Yesterday day came and went with a car wash in the 40 degree Fahrenheit warm of St Paul, Minnesota. I think people looked at me as though I were crazy, carrying buckets from my basement to splash and lather a car I cannot afford on a side street. Yeah, I feel pretty dumb leasing it, though the lease is up in less than 20 months and we will be on to something new. The whole time I polished this machine I thought of how stupid it made me feel, to live beyond my means. People watched that spectacle, another Subaru driver waved, my neighbor sold a beater and asked me how my day was. Great! Beautiful day!

And that is why I eat Maruchan ramen noodles and rice. (With a price tag of under $5 for a number of meals I can consider myself winning.) SO, imagine now your boat sinking, money floating away, those sharks behind, empty fridge at home, wife wondering what is going to happen, and then $10 is about to go away for a car wash that leaves you wanting better. Yeah, and that car is parked in the garage losing value, begging for insurance to be paid–the expensive kind. I can get a bit cold and wet outside on such a nice day, save us money, buy us time. My debt snowball is about to be rolling, debt avalanche.

After all this, I learned something. If you can’t get creative and do it yourself, it ain’t worth doing. And if your food restrictions do not work with your frugality or goals towards financial fitness, you may need to think about your goals. Because, how I see it, you can either be gluten free or debt free, I know the gluten is asking me to buy their beach house on credit, but that’s just my opinion.  That beach house is where those debt institutions are watching your boat sink slowly from afar, thinking about monetizing your financial death on YouTube (which is another story), so they can earn more.

We cancelled our #Netflix because you can get most things for free at the #library

I wonder if people know they can get most things for free at the library, even an original series on Netflix… I told my colleague this just before lunch hour yesterday. He seemed surprised. Was I lying, was I crazy, could a person really do this? Ah, yes. To the latter that is. Here’s how I know. Before mentoring last week I was at the public library and saw on the hold shelf: Stranger Things (both seasons). SO, that was what did it for me. Yeah, I could be sad about not getting Netflix exclusives any more, but now I know I can get them at the public library for the cost of having a library card: free. This should be no surprise society, and it was a surprise to me. Again, you can get most things at the library for free if you know what you are looking for, how to ask for it, and who to ask. Everyone wants to help you. Do you want to save money and help yourself? Get it at the library.

Words of Motivation: You can’t do it

I was told by a career planning counselor in high school that I would never go to the University of Minnesota; I would never be accepted as a student, there was no chance, I wasn’t smart enough, impossible… Well, I went there, and now, I go there most days. You see, I used to hear it a lot: “you can’t” or “don’t try” or “you just don’t have it in you”, or some other rejection letter or email or comment or slight. I think getting that sort of motivation is great. The naysayers, the haters, they actually inspire more than anyone or anything else. Being told that you don’t have the ability makes a person want to find the ability. I was rejected 22 times before I found what I actually wanted to do, again, after doing it. This was over the span of two years. Three times out of the 22 times I made it initially to be rejected twice more. (This doesn’t include two community colleges, a degree, and seven years of endless tests, quizzes, applications, and papers.)  The last time I tried I knew it was the last time or else I try again. As they say, persistence beats out talent in time eventually. I’ll take that. Add in some sentiment about my inability to do something and it will happen sooner, guaranteed. I bet you can’t do it either. You shouldn’t event try, it’s not in you.

97% of American Millennials can be completely debt free in less than 8 years by doing one simple thing, here’s how…

Have you ever woken up and thought that you could actually be debt free, I mean, like, really debt free in your lifetime? No student loan payments, no car payments, no mortgage, no credit card payments… It probably feels like the “fuck-you money” kind of awesome, going from indebted-and-paying-constantly to just existing to peacefully nothing, to actual freedom. That is something. That is real. And how you get there is you set goals and get away from the news and social media. I am working towards getting there, mildly broke now but slowly and surely getting better.  You see, I am horrible at math but because reading a few books about personal finance and factoring with logic, I know I can be out of credit card debt, student loan debt, and all other consumer debt in 5 to 8 years if I just get focused and do. And you can too if you set goals and work hard and stay persistent in your endeavors. You can do anything you set your mind to. Imagine, taking the same amount of time you spend every day updating your social media or working with a movement for someone else’s goals and dreams or investing your time into reading ADvantageous to advertisers news, and putting it towards YOUR GOALS and YOUR DREAMS. You can do it with hard work and time, 98% of the time, guaranteed. Stop being distracted and focus on bettering your situation and in 8 years see how far you have come, 98% of Americans will have changed, hopefully, for the better.

Wake up and get out of your debt prison before it’s too late

I woke up one day fed up with the debt I had accumulated and thought about how I could kill it by doing the same thing I had been doing my whole life. Fuck no. This isn’t possible. If you wake up and think this, you aren’t serious about getting out of debt.  You never will be.  You have to hate it.  Reading books on personal finance and doing little things has chipped away a bit. But as Dave Ramsey says, radical change requires radical change, or how I interpret what he says. Not waking up scared about my future debt, about the life I will not give my family wasn’t doing that. Now I am there. And I am worried about our American nation distracted letting their debt grow like cancer as they scream foul at some fantasy. They don’t realize their protest falling on deaf ears is leading to an oppression that they won’t look at and must see, growing on them and in them. Debt is a prison, makes you a corporate slave. I still don’t see the outrage en masse. I wait. Will it come? Will they want to Andy Dufresne?  My outrage is right here becoming frugal and not worried about what others think about my affluence.