Full spread on a subway
Frogtown, USA–In an unbelievable turn of events, new revelations about the once thought to be loathsome male act of “manspreading” has been revealed, science has unsheathed the exact cause stemming from males having an external reproductive organ between their legs due to anatomy.
In recent years, the gaping phenomenon of the “manspread” has been spotted all over the world and called out and disparaged on transit lines and in metro buses ubiquitously, seen as an unforgivable negative offense of the male persuasion. Now what seems to be a completely obvious reason for spreading one’s legs has been put forth to the masses, suggesting the opposite.
Two days ago, in a secret laboratory at Area 51, which only creates scientific laws, hot air balloons, cowardly lions, and never-fails, the act of “manspreading” has been proven to be brought on by an excruciating condition linked to the male anatomy’s mass in relation to thighs proximity rather than by individual preference to take up an entire row of seats, unnamed official sources close to the secret undisclosed laboratory have said.
“We are one hundred percent certain that the reliable scientists at Area 51, researching this matter have said that one hundred percent of the males who manspread have genitals between their legs which cause an uncomfortable feeling while sitting in a constricted manner on transit, causing kinetic spreadage.” One anonymous dependable source expressed.
After a day of rigorous studies and head-scratching, this amazing conclusion was absolutely found to be conclusive–and now, soon to be made into scientific law in the United States. This research is a prime example of the power of modern science, specifically related to human anatomy. And it shows how more studies could challenge the way society views actions deemed as negative habits.
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