Frogtown USA– In what seems to be an ironic and tragic series of events, authorities have responded to a gruesome scene in what could only be described as an armed robbery gone incredibly and horribly wrong.
At the shocking scene bloody body parts lay strewn at what could have been an armed robbery only thwarted by the new family companion, pictured above, a dog named Fluffy, a newly adopted rescue animal. No victims were harmed, no property stolen, and only the suspected criminals were left scathed.
After the failed heist, intervened by “Fluffy” the Rogers’ beloved newly adopted rescue dog, assailants made away not on foot, bleeding profusely from badly torn orifices, crying in agonizing pain, from deep and infected canine bite wounds.
In lieu of these blessed and terrifying events, the Frogtown detectives have issued an all points bulletin for the general public to be on the look out for two men in shredded ski masks missing arms and legs and most likely suffering from extreme blood loss.
[The] Body parts have been removed from the scene and been logged into the Frogtown criminal investigations headquarters as evidence of this epic failure of an attempted armed robbery. Authorities are tirelessly trying to match arms and legs to at large assailants via DNA analysis.