Tag Archives: Rights

UPDATE: Real ID passes in Minnesota, to go to an immediate recount over outcry from career demonstrators concerned for real IDs of Fantalogists

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A security guard checking a questionable passport of some guy in a leather jacket at an airport somewhere. Photo by Nam Y. Huh, Associated Press

“The Minnesota Senate passed a bill late Thursday to bring the state into compliance with the federal Real ID law as a January 2018 deadline nears”, and moments later, predictably, thousands of career demonstrators gathered outside to protest the passing of the Real ID bill to protect the rights of a small group of Fantalogists living in fantasy world.

Under the new law real fake people, Fantalogists–those religiously living in imaginary fantasy world, would be required by law to change their real fake status–or change their fantasy status, to real person or real citizen.  This change would go against their fantastical real-fake principles said a completely reliable source and in-house resident of fantasy world.

What this new law does actually is cause people who do want to live in fantasy world much stress, it forces them to come into reality and get a card that states that… one anonymous impassioned and disruptive protester explained without listening.  This basically goes against everything we know, you can look at the facts, this literally goes against the religious rights of real fake people, therefore our First Amendment rights–this is a constitutional issue!!!

After the twilight outcry, the Minnesota Senate quickly regrouped with coffee and donuts and started to commence discussion of a recount of sorts.  Those inside agreed that bending to the whims of the outcry would benefit the Fantalogist community, and in turn, help the Senators secure their reelection bids in the future.  Unnamed sources close to the MN Senate would not confirm or disconfirm when or if this recount would happen.

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The Rise of Political Clickbait: Missouri Protests #OurFuture

Minnesota bars and restaurants to manually disable cellphone reception in order to counteract the lack of general interest in society

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Monday, September 15th. In a surprise move the MBARA has decided to run a test trial of a new, clandestine program that will limit, and otherwise completely restrict cellphone reception in all Minneapolis bars and restaurants. Starting this week, and throughout the upcoming weekend, locals with “important phone calls” to make, “email checks ” to have, and “status updates” posts, will be completely out of range within their favorite establishments.

The MBARA (Minnesota Bar and Restaurant Association, similar to MMBA) has decided, like their sister sect, to limit the use of cellphone service in local businesses; while limiting the freedoms of American citizens by outdated law, akin to Sunday Sales Restrictions. This trail comes on the heels of public outcry over lack of attention in those dining rooms of your proxy. “People just don’t seem to care about those around them anymore.” says an unreliable stranger. Recently, establishments have cited a lack of conversation at the table due to excessive “selfies”, “updates”, and in general “scrolling”, of social media hotbeds by patrons in attendance.

This decision to act by law has been in the process for some time; initially, when pay phones inhibited restaurant goers of meaningful conversation, duels, and wagon races, back in the 1700’s. The lack of conversation, viz-a-viz, has been a growing epidemic of recent, brought on by smartphones, tablets, and the vanity crisis facing the human race, specifically Americans.

The MBARA is staunch in their stance against people’s freedoms when it comes to being shut-off in a social setting, and liquor sales. With this law they have one objective, that being: all people within a restaurant- or otherwise social, setting, should engage with those in their presence, or have no option to do such activity at all. “Human contact and communication is of the utmost importance; it conveys ideas, histories, and cultures.” says Barb Toto. The increase in personal smart devices has rendered a society of able bodied individuals irrelevant in the age of technology, undermining its tact and thought process at the most basic level.

Minnesota Legislators have agreed with restricting citizen’s rights in the past, with Sunday Sales Restrictions in Minnesota, proper. Now is the time again. If this test trial goes well, prepare to shut-off and be in a “dead zone”, everywhere, whenever you enter your favorite bar and restaurant, it is high time we all brush up on our in-person social skills. The MBARA wants people conversing and laughing aloud in bars and restaurants, not just on social media, and that should be the law.