Tag Archives: Satire

Biden-Clinton 2020

BREAKING NEWS: Trump Draws With Sharpie on a Map

Trump embattled with Dorian

09/07/19 America, USA–The most important news in the world today is between a president, a Sharpie, and the guestimated path of a storm, now forever infamous, on a map.

That means there isn’t much else to report on in the world today. Trump used a Sharpie to draw on a map to prove his point on a forecasted storm path. That is worth the headline.

And it doesn’t stop there. Trump memes have turned to Sharpiegate all over social media. An even more important event than Hurricane Dorian itself, it seems, but not really.

Trump, a Sharpie, and a storm on a Ross Perotesque map, front and center. That’s the most important information to read about between the prescription pill ads and the ads promoting mass consumerism.

We live in a wonderful world. When the aforementioned is the worst news. The news media can disparage and distract and still run ads.

Early Arrival of Pumpkin Spice Latte signals End of Global Warming

Reports: Ruth Bader Ginsburg Still Healthiest Person On Earth, Ever

Image result for ruth bader ginsburg
RBG at Some Event

8/25/2019–USA, In a world where perhaps the healthiest person is Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and if Trump uses sarcasm or sneezes he is certainly mentally ill and totally unfit for office, the media has again reported accurately and without clear bias on current political situations.

Mainstream news media suggests and absolutely verifies with completely reliable unnamed sources that Ruth Bader Ginsburg, supreme court justice, is still the world’s healthiest person, ever, and in immaculate health, without question. This accurate information is very important for the average American citizen and the abnormal.

Justice Ginsburg’s bill of good health is very beneficial and incredibly necessary information for America, especially all Democrats, and their partners in the mainstream news media–who are also all Democrats in reality, in relation to supreme court nominations and the upcoming 2020 Election.

Socialism in a Meme

Noah’s Ark Proves Climate Change is Real and We Should Learn from that Experience

Noah’s Ark is a very well-documented historical event in which water covered the earth, brought on by extreme climate change. And it possible killed off all the dinosaurs. We are seeing the prelude to another biblical climate event that will happen in the near future, we must learn from that experience.

As when Noah built his Ark, weather in our time is becoming more and more extreme every day. It’s a fact, from the Bible, that rain caused the waters of the earth to rise considerably, covering our planet. Today, rain caused by extreme climate has caused numerous floods throughout the globe.

Similarly today, scientists, like God did over a millennium ago, have stated that global warming and climate change will cause the oceans of the world to rise. In Noah’s time, waters rose, killing all those humans and animals not on the Ark–which explains why there wasn’t room for dinosaurs. Coincidence? Highly unlikely.

Another revelation that we see in both cases is climate change deniers. Noah faced many people who called him crazy for his beliefs about climate change and God, saying climate change wasn’t real. Wrong. Today, there are people who just don’t believe in climate change, and that’s a fact, they need to learn.

Now that we know the real facts about our impending doom on earth, we can learn from the Bible. It’s time to combat climate change by doing as Noah did: build an ark–or if that is not physically possible, at least buy enough inflatable rafts to save the human and animal populations.

Now is the time to act on climate change, use less. Time is running out. The waters of the world are rising, weather is getting worse. There is no time to think, there is only to act to save the planet and ourselves. Here are some rafts at a discount: raft. Do your part.

WikiLeaks founder leaves Embassy for Minnesota Trout Opener, He just couldn’t Wait

London, Spain–Wikileaks founder Jeffrey Sausage couldn’t wait another moment, he had to go to the Minnesota Trout Opener. Nothing could stop him.

Jeffrey loves running WikiLeaks and hanging out in embassies for six years straight, but what he loves even more is trout fishing in Minnesota.

With blue skies and perfect weather, Minnesota is the best place on earth, and the best place on earth for the best fishing on earth.

Jeffrey was seen bursting out onto the streets of London, Spain with a sparkling zeal, with his security detail in tow to make the next flight.

Good luck Mr. Sausage, may you catch your limit.