Tag Archives: Trump

Turn off, tune out: how the media creates the problems their pharmaceutical commercials claim they can cure, just ask your doctor


I had’t thought about it much until my phone broke. Bullshit black-screen of death… I had no phone, I had nothing… Or so I thought, well, most would think this. I might have been wrong. It was great. And getting my phone back a week or so ago makes me want that no-phone situation back again.

The reason for that is the news, the constant reaching in my pocket to find my screen. Inevitably, now, I will be on my phone, pull something up, google search something and see hatred disguised as necessary, as justice. I will scan a newspaper website and I will find something like hate-ads that ask me to find these people and hate them too, ironically for hating.

The concept of turn off, tune out–or whatever catchphrase it was is nothing new. (I am sure I want to get away like everyone else. They could actually fake me in videos now.) In fact, it’s probably very old. It doesn’t matter. But try it. Shut the phone off. Just the phone. Watch a movie and take a walk. Maybe shut the television off too.

We could scroll Facebook, Reddit, Twitter, Instagram for hours but we still find ourselves in the same place: sitting between up and down, looking for what’s next, constantly moving towards the end–if that is even possible. I don’t know. I think of how stupid it must feel to craft a post that would appease everyone that is in my friend group and those who are in my friend group who I don’t give a shit about… I wonder… Does this jive with my ideology? Or is it fake?

And the conclusion hit me today. I walked into a dark office in the afternoon and ran into someone who couldn’t believe the world news and how everything was internal struggle and meltdown, go figure. It was too much. The whole world was ending certainly.

Ah… but not here I thought. The world in this quiet dark office was very pleasant, nothing to bother anyone. Even the lights weren’t offensive and people weren’t playing music outside. It was fine. I told my friend I laughed at the nightly news; every new day was a new catastrophic drama-fest meltdown stoked by advertisements and distractionism. Something unreal.

And I calmed. Maybe I should add turn off the local news to the list. They are sponsored by something as well. There are hosts that will never get fired because of what they say they are, honest. There are stories that will never get covered because of what others say they are, different. And we can agree. Still, there is that button you can touch. Turn it off and take a much needed breath of air and just think for once.

FACT CHECK: Trump-Putin handshake proves undeniable evidence of G-20 Summit meeting the media explains, and shocking leaked video of secret handshake reveals so much more, ERMERGERD!

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“President Trump shakes hands with Russian President Vladimir Putin at the G-20 Summit Friday in Hamburg, Germany. Evan Vucci | AP” – MPR

Frogtown, USA–In completely obvious proof of being best friends previous to their first-ever meeting, President Trump and true BFF, and closet RNC campaign manager, Vladimir Putin shook hands as the entire world of news media watched obsessively and told you what they thought about it through unbiased objective interpretation not related to their paid sponsors.

The G20 Summit, located in some other country in another part of the world, an important event which no one knows anything about at all, was entirely overshadowed Friday by the first-time in history meeting of long-time extremely close inseparable boyhood friends, Donald and Putin.

A brief handshake and the vivid and graphic secret leaked footage of that handshake leaked on an FBI memo pad by an unnamed high-level from some University lawyer source revealed a lot more, through our unique and special unadulterated interpretation, than most average citizens would gather from reading objective observations, if ever written.

In what is said to be the handshake that caused a redoubling rupture in the center of the earth and massive schism in the minds of intellectuals for democratic justice, the Trump-Putin handshake went down in modern history as the most covered handshake of all-time, maybe until next week. Leaked Video evidence of Russian Election Interference

This integral and intimate handshake was so important numerous news outlets covered it with their own special interpretation of its absolute and exact meaning so readers brains could understand better and handle its true meaning without question, here are just a few interpretations that might fit your ideology: MPR,  CNN, RT, SnopesWashington Post, Wikipedia, etc.

Handshakes like these will forever change the way we view the world through photography of such events, specifically through handshakes, and how the media interprets this standard rite of general introductions, especially with those who win elections together and those who just meet for the first time during everyday life.

In a world where people have two hands and one very small brain, or even just one very small hand–you have to hand it to them–it is incredibly important to remember the importance and deep meaning and objective interpretation of a handshake, an act with roots and ties to anything and everything through media persuasion.

Fake new about fake news found to be fake news about fake news because of fake news and fake news

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the words “Fake news” printed on a fake typewriter graphic Adweek

In a shocking revelation yesterday an unnamed mainstream media source found that a story about fake news found to be fake news was fake news because of fake news and no one seemed to care.

Unbelievably the mainstream media source did nothing about the compromise of information, not going back on their sponsors promise, not pulling the fake news story.

The ads were in place, the story had to fill the page… one unidentified marketing sales manager at the publication explained, These papers are full of advertisements, they are paid for, they must be seen by a specific demographic…

This discovery of fake news is only one in a veritable rash of papers, the mainstream media seem to be just printing fake news for news when there is no real news simply to carry marketing spots, nothing objective to break for readers to think on.

Such an uncovering has shocked the news industry–and this problem goes back decades–as it limits trust and shows that stories are less important than underwriters and advertiser money. The readers suffer, and we can blame the decline on fake news…

We can only hope at point the news media goes back to what made them important, objective reporting, putting advertisements and sales in the background.  However, in a world where shock sells we can expect to see more and more fake news.

BREAKING: Russia hacks Netflix’s House of Cards 5th season 2016 election says Assange, Underwood concedes to Conway in landslide upset

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President Underwood after his massive defeat to opponent Will Conway.  Source

In what turned out to be a shock that could only be something that is not really actually stranger than fiction, while watching Netflix’s House of Card 5th season the world realized that Russia also hacked the election in favor of Will Conway over Francis Underwood in the 2016 election, said Julian Assange.

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Julian Assange physically in disbelief with his hands spread wide over the Underwood defeat.  RT

In the extremely highly anticipated unbelievable inscrutable 5th season of House of Cards, the intense 2016 election was also hacked by Russia operatives and hackers out to destroy the election hopes of democratic nominee Francis J. Underwood, which is facutally tied to the Trump campaign.

The Will Conway victory came as a utter surprise to even Will Conway himself, as he poured his orange juice, readied for the day, and stretched out for a run he could not believe that he was set to win the hotly debated muchly contested presidential campaign trail, followed up by this closely watched election conclusion.

Ostensibly, when asked for a comment about Netflix’s new season of House of Cards, released May 30th on Netflix, unidentified, potentially high-level Russian informants gave no comment as to if they did have a hand in the election, or if they did not have a hand in the

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President Trump explaining how he actually didn’t have a part in this.

Underwood/Conway election, unknown and unreliable sources have passionately confirmed.

Accordingly, a proverbial “witch hunt” is in store for the next 4 years, not as a distraction for the entire nation, but as an opportunity to prove that even though Underwood lost, he was and still is the right person for the job, and in some miraculous way there is still hope that a time machine may be invented to go back in time and remedy this err, for all humanities sake.

Underwood is slated to contest the election results for the foreseeable future, taking trips across the nation to subliminally slander and disparage Conway in all of his attempts to run his office proper, this will be a new opportunity for the much beloved Francis Underwood to get his campaign machine geared up for the next election cycle in House of Cards season 8.

Minnesota man to consider $5 donation during next MPR membership drive if he reads one positive unbiased article about Trump, published by the mainstream news organization

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President of the United States of America pointing across a room at an unknown person, one positive article to garner $5 donation to MPR from local man. Photo by Getty

Reports broke Tuesday that local Minnesota man, who happens to be a millennial, a college grad, and a recent republican voter–although no party affiliation at this time could be confirmed, to consider donating $5 to next MPR membership drive if they write one positive unbiased article about president Donald Trump.

This incredible news came to a slough of jeers, guffaws, and mumbles from friends, colleagues, and family who happened to be unflinching MPR supporters.  Their reaction was to vehemently detest the idea that MPR as an organization could be biased in anyway towards anyone with differing ideas always–those not of the Progressive-Democratic ilk.

Though, these reports are wholly unconfirmed and unverified, the local male will be watching reports and reading articles ever closely looking for any indication that objective reporting exists in the state of Minnesota, and as he suggested, if he finds this to be the case he will consider contributing his $5 donation and become a highly member.  We all wait with bated breath.

BREAKING: Flynn tells all, admits that fake news told him that fake news is fake news, the internet turns to complete bedlam after not reading the article in its entirety

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Michael Flynn just after learning fake news is fake news, told by fake news.

Today, in a revelation that shocked absolutely no one at all, Michael Flynn was told by fake news sources that fake news sources were actually fake news sources, paid by people of interest to report on specific topics, offering no further comment other than “don’t tell anyone, Michael Flynn…” extremely reliable sources say.

This fake news comes as no surprise to people with eyes and a brain that functions properly, especially when there are more witch hunts today than there was in The Crucible, and while there are more red scares now than there were in the 1960s.  Although it does give a point of reference to anyone making a point that will be “fact-check”ed as false without proof in light conversation.

Moreover, in a shocking twist, no one cared about this admittance and critics focused all of their attention on Michael Flynn himself, expressing that he was fake news, or a liar, or he was biased because he wasn’t a Clinton supporter like them. The world went on blathering about what it thought was right and wrong, and how the grass is blue and the sky is green. All parties will continue to loathe one another and fake news will run rampant.